Life In The Fastlane

So, I've not written a blog in a while, because life has been bonkers!

Now some close to me may argue that my life has always been just a little bit bonkers in some way shape or form; I left for the bright lights of London at just sixteen to take up my scholarship to dance school and later would fly around the world for a living as cabin crew for Virgin Atlantic, surviving on little sleep, landing from Hong Kong and deciding to go on a road trip to family across the country on my days off and I've always said 'yes' to everything and everyone and put myself in the position where I bite off way more than I can chew.

(For example today I am supposed to prepare for a pre-school committee meeting, post some VERY overdue whilst my baby currently won't sleep unless my boob and I are a metre tops from his small person! 

Surely this was life in the fast lane right?

Partying with celebrities in LA, literaly jet setting around the world, a different continent each day- what part of me would ever think that i'd ever be describing life spent predominantly at home with two small children, a dog and a husband as a more fast paced life? 

Not only that, but who would ever think that i'd be having more fun than the previously mentioned care-free partying days of my twenties?

Even though I knew that I always wanted a family and prayed that God would bless me with one one day, I think I always thought that doing so would mean that the fun times would end and i'd have to become a .grown up'.

Well rightly or wrongly, I still can't describe myself as a grown up whilst maintaining a straight face!

I still think of myself as a teenager most of the time and often stop when I'm alone with the kids and dog in a proper grown up's house and wonder how I can possibly be responsible for two small humans lives, it only feels like yesterday that I was playing 'house' with my fisher price kitchen like my daughter before me right now.

Yet hear I am, wife, mum of two, home owner, pre-school committee member, church choir member and trustee of a charity and there is not one of these titles that doesn't scare the life out of me that I don't have the qualifications or skills to do any of them.

I'm not sure exactly where this hang up has come from, but during my rehabilitation my pain clinic counsellor and I realised that I have a chip on my shoulder about not being qualified to do anything.

We think it comes from the fact although I was very academic and compelled eve at pep
at school lol, I choose to pe

The other day I had to go and look around a school for my daughter, who although is only just three will be starting primary school next September.

As the head teacher spoke to me about the school's values 

So what has changed, (besides the obvious with my disability